Couple & Family Therapy

Intimate relationships bring so many benefits to benefits to people in terms of safety and intimacy, as well as companionship and an enduring sense of connection to others. 

Close relationships can also be challenging however. Modern society brings huge economic and other pressures to bear on relationships. Couples can find themselves struggling with the need to care for both older and younger generations while also managing work and trying to find time for their own relationship.

All of these pressures can contribute to feelings of anger, distress and hopelessness. In the absence of being able to discuss difficulties and find a solution, people can so easily find themselves arguing endlessly, or perhaps not speaking at all, which can be just as unhelpful. Unhappiness in a couple relationship can also result in people resorting to unhealthy ways to cope, such as using alcohol or gambling.  

Through making the space to learn to really talk and listen, we can find ways to resolve even the most difficult of problems. Sometimes this means that we find a way to end the relationship in a way that does not cause too much hurt, but often it means that we find a way to build a better and stronger relationship.

Speaking about our closest relationships can be frightening however, particularly for those who grew up in families where relationships, and feelings, were not spoken about. Whatever family we grew up with probably felt 'normal' to us, until we had the chance to experience a different sort of family through friendships or new relationships. 

This realisation that all families are different can be both shocking and interesting. We begin to look at our own families with fresh eyes, re-evaluating our own experiences growing up. We may began to realise that our parents got it right in some areas, but not others. This gives us a set of expectations for our own relationships in terms of gender roles, our need for closeness and expectations around parenting.

Our ability to manage within a relationship is often guided by our experience in our own family when we were children, and sometimes that experience did not prepare us well for intimate relationships..  

This really comes into focus when we embark on intimate relationships, and more so when our relationships experience pressure points, such as a new arrival, a loss or a personal crisis. Learning to navigate such crisis is important in life. Therapy can help couples navigate such crisis, listening to each other with greater compassion and understanding, creating more closeness instead of distance.

Family therapy is a talking therapy that focuses on improving the relationships within a family so they can better understand and support each other. This therapy helps family members explore difficult topics and emotions in a safe environment, understand each other's views and experiences, and appreciate each other's needs. It can help build on strengths within the family and work together to make positive changes.

Families have become increasingly complex environments over past years, driven by huge social and economic change, longevity and the movement of people.

Families are now often shaped by divorce, isolation from other generations of the family and include step-parents, step-children and step-siblings. All of the these mean that many of us now live in blended families with unrelated individuals with different belief systems and who have been shaped by different experiences and family rules.

Families can either be nurturing safe places where we learn about exploration, respect and boundaries, or they may be abusive or unsafe environments where self-expression and boundaries are non-existent. Sadly, many people grow up with relationships to our primary caregivers where we do not feel safe, secure or completely loved.

Through working through how your family of origin has affected you and bringing into awareness the unspoken rules that were taught and passed down in your own family of origin, you can start to make more conscious choices about what may be being repeated in the here-and-now of your own family.

We can never change the past, but we can begin from here and change the future!